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It's the morning of June 14th 2012. Lisette is 9 months pregnant. Well 9 months and a day; she was due to give birth yesterday.

I've attended the classes and so I know that kids aren't like microwave meals. They don't click and ding in exactly 3 minutes. They can come at any time. So for the last month that's pretty much what I've been expecting. Imminent arrival. It hasn't happened. But something's happening now...

Lisette woke in the night. This isn't unusual at all. Since Lisette started on maternity leave she's pretty much adopted (the cat) Maggie's lifestyle. That is to say, she has about 3 or 4 sleeps a day and prowls the house during the night. Though thankfully she hasn't yet tried to use the catflap.

But last night was different. When Lisette woke she felt a little strange. Not "I'm going into labour" strange; more "I've eaten a hot Thai curry" strange. As it happened she had eaten a hottish curry the night before. But lets not mince words; this was, sorry, this *is* labour.

The contractions (after they'd been happening for 4 hours Lisette agreed that it probably wasn't a dicky tummy after all) are currently spaced about 5 minutes apart and they last about a minute. I know this as it's my job to time the contractions. We've gone high tech for that; we're using an app on Lisette's iPhone. When one starts Lisette cries "push the button" and I hit Start. Then when it's done she cries "'K" and I hit Stop. I've had more taxing jobs.

Though nature has conspired to help me sympathise. In a cruel twist of fate I have this week developed a minor medical condition (I'll spare you the details) which means I've been doing a fair amount of groaning myself. It's probably not that comparable but I like to think it helps me to empathise.

Lisette called the hospital and they said it was too early to go in. "Take paracetamol and have a bath" they said. Lisette's done both. It doesn't seem to have made any discernible difference. Maybe that's their stock advice to stop people going to the hospital too early. I'll sign off for now I think, I guess it'll all kick off soon. Exciting! Scary... Exciting!


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